My brother just arrived
I came across an article written by Michael Engstrom, Strategist, and Business Developer, entitled: The human condition, leadership, and growth, which he posted on LinkedIn back in September of 2015. His opening quote grabbed my attention “After working with innovation and growth for over 25 years we have come to the conclusion that it all bottoms out on a personal level. That in the end, companies do not achieve anything - only people do. Or they don´t.”
The words “it all bottoms out on a personal level”, ring true to me. I believe that they refer to the full spectrum of the human condition, including empathy, love, and respect.
Today, I’m going to share a true story, originally written by a friend and RF Factor partner. It incorporates the essence of Engstrom’s article, and I believe that it will resonate with everyone from the head of the organization to the brand new hire, because as Engstrom wrote “it all bottoms out on a personal level”.
My brother finally arrived today. The postman slowly approached my door holding the box containing the box that housed my brother's ashes.
He did not say much, a simple "Anthony Gagliardi?" to which I replied "yes, that's me."
He then handed me the heavily wrapped parcel and respectfully nodded his head in recognition of the large black lettering that appeared on all sides of the box, ‘Handle with respect, human remains’.
I thanked him and closed the door. I set my brother down on the dining room table.
I did not open it straight away. I couldn't. I simply stared down at it until going cross-eyed.
An hour passed and my girlfriend entered the front door. Her empathy runs deep. She came to help—not to unwrap the box, but me. To help me gain the breath that was momentarily escaping me.
I opened the box while she waited reassuringly at my side. Either the tape was as stubborn as my brother, or my shears needed sharpening. After clumsily removing the tape and jaggedly tearing the sides of the box apart, I was presented with yet another obstacle.
The bubble wrap was wound several times around the hand-carved wooden box holding the ashes. I thus quickly stopped pulling on it as I envisioned the tension suddenly releasing, the box popping back and jarring my hands so that I would wind up covered in my brother like a flour-blasted pastry chef.
After nimbly removing the bubble wrap, I was able to remove the wooden box. Beautiful craftsmanship. A quick inspection soon revealed that the box was sealed, so no danger of a remains bomb after all. I felt relieved. And joyous. And sad.
However, that sadness soon turned to appreciation. I was grateful for my girlfriend being there for me, as she always is, if I need her. When thinking about my brother, the pain of his passing hurts a little less knowing that looking at her can take it all away.
Rest easy on that hutch brother.
Life, family, and career all come with inherent challenges. Overcoming these challenges so often humbles the strongest and greatest of leaders. As Engstrom describes, it is the people around these challenges that will make the difference when things bottom out. And for most of us, that will be our families and friends. Anthony’s story above reminds us that it is our loved ones - which we so often take for granted - that will get us through life’s challenges. They will be there during thick and thin, and of course when our careers pass.
I drop this today, as we - my family - get ready to attend our annual family beach reunion. After reading Anthony’s story against the backdrop of Engstrom, today, I will sit back, smile, and further be reminded of how grateful I am for the over 50-year relationships I have had with my parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, and cousins.
It is they that have gotten me through life’s challenges.